(02/08/2017) In Her father’s House?

Posted: February 8, 2017 in Authority, Christian Beliefs, Family, Holy Matrimony, Law, Love, Pride, Promises, Sex, Teens
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Today, reply is given to a teenager struggling with issues of Christian belief, parental approval, racism, and sexual relationships.  Being related by blood is called “kinship”, being related through love, respect and trust are called “family”.  Young people often are impractical, express exaggerated pride, and insist they can rely upon the certainty, protection and security provided by genuine feelings of love.  Even so, the combination of desire and imagination can produce an uncontrollable fantasy of love.  Weeds of deceit, fornication, and “playing the whore” can infest the places intended for the plantings of marriage.  Considered in the light from Scripture, both the law of ones father (and its alternative, the law of the husband) come into view along with the provisions for young women becoming released from their promises to GOD.  Our youth often fail to correctly acknowledge the fact that, while they are under the authority and protection of their parents, the law requires that what they account as their own private affairs must be approved, monitored, and supervised by their adult caretakers.  In innocence and ignorance, the offspring willingly make promises to surrender the life and property of their parents for payment of the debts and obligations of their children.  Thus, it is legitimate that parents oversee marriage, courtship, and dating because unseen legal obligations may be cemented that include liability through misunderstood and unintended verbal contracts and promises, incurring unexpected and unwanted debts as well as having to seek relief for a fair division or return of shared personal property.  The fighter at “Yahoo! Answers (New Zealand)” using the ID “Joe” (Level 1 with 95 points, a member since February 07, 2017) posted the following:

 

Kicked out and disowned for having a black/mixed boyfriend? Help..?

I’m 18, and as I grow older I have only been attracted to colored men. I have tried dating my own race (white) but its just hard and annoying. In the past, my ex was black and my mom kicked me out until I broke up with him and came back. She also took the car she gave me (i paid 300 dollars on it!) And gave it to my brother. I stayed at my current boyfriends house and got depressed and lost my job. I look back and shouls have kept the job but i was younger and upset by my mom. But today, I am talking to a boy i really really like, he’s mixed. My mom claims to be “strict Christian” and said mixing races is bad. Yet she sleels with men she isn’t married to and judges people, she thinks kicking me out is a lesson and only because i dont follow her rules i cant live in her house. Though i am good at school, working, and i clean. I don’t do anything bad but date other races. She verbally abuses me daily and reminds me everything i never do. I just want to have a normal relationship.. go to prom and my mom take pictures, i wish she would be happy for me. And also, my redneck dad said if i had a mixed baby he would disown me.. yet he loves my sister and her mixed baby.. its stressful and i dont know if i can move out yet.. i have to wait for my new job so i have no money. Help please..

 

THE GOLDEN ARROW:  If a woman also vow a vow unto the LORD, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth;  And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand.  But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand:  and the LORD shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.  And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul;  And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it:  then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.  But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect:  and the LORD shall forgive her.  But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.  And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath;  And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not:  then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.  But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand:  her husband hath made them void; and the LORD shall forgive her.  Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.  (Numbers 30:  3-13, King James Version, KJV)

 

THE DOUBLE DAGGER:  Can Christians Be Racists? (07/25/2016); Flesh Against the Spirit? (06/19/2016); Discipline and The Cross (06/16/2016); On Controlling Lust (01/05/2016); Growing Up Again? (12/09/2015); Understanding Spiritual Growth? (03/13/2015); Not Yet Delivered From Racism? (12/21/2014); Racism Is Not From GOD (12/22/2014)

 

“Joe”, for there to be a “happy ending” at your father’s house there are many important points for you to consider.  You seem to be confusing issues of being respected as an adult, Christian belief, race, and sexual freedom.  Mature Christian believers regard themselves as “married” and bound to GOD through Jesus Christ.  Nowadays, as they are developing to be full persons, young females encounter many intense emotional and psychological challenges; and they are likely to be exploited, overwhelmed, and “kicked to the curb.”  Like anyone else, you want to be free and pursue your own feelings and thoughts, however, you are not yet an independent or mature adult.  (Maturity is marked by balance, completeness, consistency, and stability.)

All lasting relationships and adult notions of love—be they with family, friends, or romantic interests—require that one be accountable, committed, and also willing to show love through restraint, sacrifice (i.e., doing whatever is demanded; paying every cost, even, laying down ones life), and self-denial.  Where you are prepared to talk about what you want from others, you also must be prepared to say what you are willing to give in return.  Parents are not unreasonable to deny “sexual relationships” to their daughters while they are living at home.  It is not that they are ignorant of how powerful and demanding sexual appetite in young people can be.  Nor is it that they can read people’s minds, or foretell the future so much as it is a matter of recognizing familiar patterns.  Once you see ABCDEFG, it is reasonable to think XYZ is on the way, and not 8-9-10-11.

In the same way it sends a message about how you value your parents for you to say, I can not stop smoking for two or three years while I am in my father’s house, I can not stop drinking alcohol, or attending foot ball games until after I am married, to say, I can not stop dating tells them there is a serious problem that goes beyond their having authority, duty, and willingness to trust you as their offspring.  It sends a message regarding what you think of yourself.

There is far more to be said, correctly applied, and spiritually apprehended.  (For example, the benefits of going to school and taking on small jobs include gaining self-confidence and acquiring self-discipline.  Having “a future” with the big life-accomplishments of career, marriage, and family are not possible for those who do not first learn to patiently wait, and while waiting direct their energy into things that will make them stronger and more well prepared for the things they truly want that remain ahead.  Where you and your male companions insist you are adult enough to maintain sexual relationships, you should only do so on your own terms, and in your own shared place.)  Even so, I trust this fragment will be useful.  Be it unto you according to your faith.

THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC

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