He-That-Curseth_thumb.jpg

 

 Today, responding to parental demands and dependency are topics.  Those who need us force us to search within to discover and apply hidden strengths and possibilities we otherwise would not call forth.  Even so, as adults, many of us become delinquent in sharing with our parents, and may use the excuses, I wanted to give you something, but I had to give it to my spouse; I had to give it all to my children; I had to give to it to the church (a free-will offering; a gift; Corban).  Even where siblings do not agree, and the responsibility for attending to ones parents seems to fall on a single person, there should be no division, or ill-feeling on the basis of how little or how much one may provide to their parents.  The single giver must be steadfast, and serve as an example to the others.  At some point, both children and parents have to acknowledge that life experience on the earth is filled with challenges and frustrations for everyone, and to have peace within the home and the family, we must avoid using one another for “punching bags” and targets for anger and malice.  The writer in the “Yahoo! Answers” forum who used the ID “lovetolovetolove” (Level 1 with no (zero, 0) points shown, a member since May 31, 2008) posted the following:

 

How can I honor my mom in God’s eyes?

’m 27 and while growing up my mom would lie, call me ugly, put me out as a teen. She really tore me up. Since growing up I’ve tried to be at peace with her but it’s weighing me down. She never admit her wrongs. But every single time she calls me it’s about money. Every time I see her it’s about money. At the end of the day all of that money adds up and it’s the fact that every time I see my mom money comes up. She’s married and her and her husband lives with friends. She hasn’t worked since I was probably 15. I can see her she’ll need gas money, phone bill paid, food to eat, bills paid. Then the next day it’s someth else then so on. She’ll call nonstop and text while I’m working saying it’s an emergency and call her I’d call and she’s asking for money saying their car broke down or needs an tire. She lies about her health to get money, just anything. If I buy anything for my self I have to hide it. I live with my Dad and his wife at the moment but thinking of buying a home in a different state just to get away and catch a breath. She’ll go as far to ask for my change out of my purse. I love my mom but I can’t take care of her as I’m trying to figure life out and take care of myself! Any advice?! I just feel like I need to move away to be happy

 

THE GOLDEN ARROW:  Children, obey your parents in the Lord:  for this is right.  Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise;  That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.  And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath:  but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  (Ephesians 6:  1-4, King James Version, KJV)

 
THE DOUBLE DAGGER:  Adam, Family and Law (07/05/2017); Who Deserves Divine Love? (06/23/2017); Inheritance Must Become Commitment (05/15/2017); The Relationships With GOD? (11/30/2016); Discipline and The Cross (06/16/2016); To Have True Peace? (11/12/2015); Strong Families? (11/10/2015); Family and Beliefs of Children? (08/29/2014); Stories Repeated in the Bible? (08/30/2014)

 

“lovetolovetolove”, here are some thoughts you may find helpful.  The divine character, meaning, and use of family changes throughout the Bible from the time of Adam to the time of Christ.  The counsels from GOD through the holy writings are difficult to apply given the rules of society and youth cultures today, that emphasize maintaining independence, self-improvement, and self-promotion.  Where the Ten Commandments proclaim a duty for children—particularly the firstborn who is the heir—to “honor” their father and mother, those requirements pertain to establishing a nation to demonstrate the keeping of divine law; creating and maintaining a stable pattern of family inheritance; enduring necessary transfers of land ownership and property rights as well as the resolution of conflicts through the application of law.

The same way parents are expected to endure all the many emotional, financial, psychological, social, and unanticipated challenges associated with childbearing, childrearing, becoming bereaved of ones own offspring, adult children may be required to care for dependent parents, despite that their parents are adult in chronological age.  Minor children may be accounted as a liability and a “burden” because they will live in poverty (i.e., they will have no regular income, no savings, no credit, and no reputation that commends them for employment).

Among Christians, the intimate communication, exchanges, and interaction within the family should be seen as a divine device to draw out, build up, nurture, and reinforce ones developing spirit content imparted from the makeup of divinity.  Included are inseparable aspects of divine fullness (we say, the GODhead; the Father, the Son, the Holy Spirit) such as balance, faith, holiness, hope, longsuffering, lovingkindness, respect, wisdom, and wrath against sin.

Just as their children may be devastated by the breakdown in the personality, the physical independence, or the psychological and spiritual strength of their loved ones, parents may become argumentative, bitter, depressed, combative, frightened, and confused.  Many have undergone abuse and damage during the time their child was growing up that they kept hidden and secret away from their little ones.  There is a broad range of discoveries, healing, new learning, continuing growth, and genuine love that still must come into their view.  The way a parent may treat their child includes a trust to show their own inner darkness they would never show outside of the family.  The parents are not betraying their child so much as they are providing for their further maturity through the life plan of GOD, and pushing their offspring to new levels of apprehension and grasp that otherwise would be missed.

In the same way, try as they might, parents often miss their own mark for seeking to help and protect their sons and daughters, children often miss the mark as caretakers for disabled, elderly, and impoverished parents to such an extent, they all must depend on outside resources such as government aide, professional homemakers, and assistance programs.  Even so, a child continues to honor their parent by operating with godly discipline, firmness, forgiveness, love, mature counsel, respect to the adult independence and personhood of their parents, restraint, and sticking to a budget for their giving as well as their spending.  Consider again the following that uses language from the Bible; “Corban” is a vow; money promised to the temple treasury that could be used for secular projects:

(1.)  1st Timothy 5:  1-8, King James Version (KJV):  1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;  2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.  3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.  4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents:  for that is good and acceptable before God.  5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.  6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.  7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.  8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

(2.)  Mark 7:  5-13, KJV:  5 Then the Pharisees and scribes asked him, Why walk not thy disciples according to the tradition of the elders, but eat bread with unwashen hands?  6 He answered and said unto them, Well hath Esaias prophesied of you hypocrites, as it is written, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.  7 Howbeit in vain do they worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.  8 For laying aside the commandment of God, ye hold the tradition of men, as the washing of pots and cups:  and many other such like things ye do.  9 And he said unto them, Full well ye reject the commandment of God, that ye may keep your own tradition.  10 For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death:  11 But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free.  12 And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother;  13 Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered:  and many such like things do ye.
There is far more that should be said, correctly examined, and spiritually apprehended.  (For example, (3.)  1st Peter 2:  19-25, KJV:  19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.  20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.  21 For even hereunto were ye called:  because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:  22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth:  23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously:  24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness:  by whose stripes ye were healed.  25 For ye were as sheep going astray; but are now returned unto the Shepherd and Bishop of your souls.)  Even so, I trust this fragment will be useful.  Be it unto you according to your faith.

Signature-Mark.png

THE BLACK PHOENIX
Washington, DC

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s